Castle of Dreams
by atrfla
Summary: Takes place instead of Season 7. Castle's car has just caught on fire and Beckett believes her fiancé was in it. A new case comes up and Beckett throws herself into it... trying to distract herself just like she did when her mom died. But Lanie discovers some shocking information. Is Castle alive? If so, where is he? And will Beckett be able to rescue him?
1. Chapter 1

Four hours after my name was supposed to change, I was still Kate Beckett.

I didn't stay at the Hamptons house like Castle and I were supposed to for our first night together. Instead, Martha and Alexis offered me a ride back to New York. I spent the twenty-five-minute-drive back to Castle's place in the backseat, staring out the window with tears running silently down my face.  
Martha and Alexis were very gracious about letting me stay in Castle's room for the night and possibly until I found an apartment. Twenty minutes faster and it could have been _our_ room...

I slept on his side of the bed that night with my face buried in Castle's pillow, crying even in my sleep as my dreams were filled with fire and a world without my favorite writer.

The next day, I stayed in bed for an hour, hugging Castle's pillow like it was him, when Martha came in holding a big brown book. Her eyes were puffy and red, and she seemed a little less shiny and cheerful than normal, but otherwise she was the same. "Kate, darling, don't be depressed. I know-" she got a little choked up- "that this is hard for you. It isn't easy for the rest of us, either. Now get up and go to work."

I buried my face in Castle's pillow. "I'm not going," I said, my voice muffled. "I'm taking a sick day. I'll go back tomorrow."

She sat on the edge of the bed. "I knew that was what you would say. So I brought you something and Alexis made waffles for the three of us." She sniffled and added something she thought I didn't hear, but I did. "She tried making smorelets, too, but no one made them like Richard."

The tears returned. "I'm not hungry."

She smiled sadly. "I knew you would say that, too. Here." She handed me the book.

It wasn't a book at all. It was a scrapbook. I looked up at Martha. "Wha..."

"Open it," she urged. Her eyes filled with tears. "I meant for it to be the wedding gift, but..."

I opened the front cover. And there were pictures. Ones of me snapped when I wasn't looking, way back from when we first started working together, Castle and I. Ones of me and him conferring or staring at the murder boards or drinking coffee. A few of him laughing, and grinning that devilish grin, and even one of those silly photo-shoot pictures with the stripper policewomen. Only I was in that one, glaring at him while he smiled. The most painful picture was the last one, of Castle and I kissing. Someone- probably Alexis- had drawn little rose vines and curls around the border of the page, and underneath the picture was a message in beautiful cursive: _You got your fairy-tale ending after all._

This brought me back to sitting outside Rogan's house while he put his arm around me and comforted me with stories of happy endings. And then I realized: there would _never_ be a happy ending. Castle was gone. There was nothing left to do except bury myself in my work like I'd done with my mother's death. Some things just were unspeakable, un_think_able, and this was one of them.

With a lone tear tracing its way down my cheek, I put the scrapbook aside, gave the pillow one final squeeze, and swung my legs out of bed. "I'm going to work."

She smiled. "_That's_ the Kate _I_ know."


	2. Chapter 2

The look on Ryan's and Esposito's faces were almost worth it when I strode into the precinct.

"B-B-Beckett!" Ryan stammered. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm working, Ryan," I answered calmly. "I'd like my case files back, please."

"Kate," Lanie said from behind me. "Hi!"

I turned around and smiled wearily. "Lanie. Didn't see you there."

"Come down to my lab," she ordered. "I have something on a dead body that I can't figure out."

I glanced over at Ryan and Esposito. "I'm not currently working on a case-"

"That's okay, I just need the help of a detective," she said, snatching my wrist.

"I'll help," Ryan offered.

Lanie fixed him with a glare. "Let me rephrase. I need _Kate's_ help." Then she dragged me off.

When we reached her lab, I glanced around. All of her body tables were empty. "Uh, Lanie? I don't see any-"

She hugged me. "You poor baby."

Just like that, the dam I'd built to hold back my grief and tears burst. I wept into Lanie's shoulder and she was patting my back and repeating, "You poor baby."

After about five minutes, the door banged open. Esposito's jaw dropped. He backed out slowly, and Ryan's head poked in. He swallowed. "Sorry, but we've had a murder..."

Esposito pushed past Ryan and gulped. "Beckett? I-"

"Please," I interrupted. "Call me Kate." My last name was too painful now. Since it should've been Castle.

"Kate," Esposito corrected himself. "Maybe you should go home for the day... and take next week off too..."

I glared at him. The only way I was going to survive the three weeks that I was supposed to be on my honeymoon on was working until I dropped. And then I'd be with Castle, so it wouldn't be so bad. I pushed all thoughts of death from my mind.

"Esposito, if you _really_ think I'm taking that offer, you don't know me." I wiped a stray tear from my cheek, tightened my jacket around my torso, and shoved past Esposito and Ryan. "Let's go."

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**I will try to post every day, but I'll be away and I might not have Internet access some days for the next week. ~atrfla**


	3. Chapter 3

**I love Castle! It's a great TV show! Please review!**

The man who was dead had been found in the park. I had so many fond memories of Castle and me solving murders and joking around here, I had to take a moment to compose myself. Then I looked at the man. His face had been terribly disfigured- post-mortem, Lanie guessed- and his fingers and toes were missing, along with his wallet or anything else that could've helped us identify our vic. But Lanie said the cause of death was most likely the bullet hole in his chest.

I nodded. "Looks like someone didn't want anyone knowing who our vic is."

Lanie frowned. "I'll say. No prints or facial recognition. We'll just have to take DNA samples, but those are harder to analyze. We'll match them and the face with any missing people from this area."

"Get back to the precinct and check the clothes for any substances," I directed. "Ryan, Esposito, scan the area in a two-hundred-foot radius. Castle, come..." I faltered. For a moment, I'd gotten into my zone and forgotten all about the accident. "_Lanie_, come with me. The clothes can wait. We'll send someone to get the body back to the precinct. We'll check the trash bins in the area." Then I strode off, purposely keeping my eyes diverted from the pity on my team's faces.

While we were checking trash, Lanie entertained me with information about our vic. "Time of death was between eight and nine yesterday. From what I can see, the bullet pierced his heart, but it might've hit a lung. The fingers were cut off pre-mortem and at uneven lengths, so they were removed one at a time, not all at once. Probably torture. I'll see if I can pick up any residue from the stumps. However, the toes were cut off post-mortem."

I sighed wearily. She kept going as we pawed through a Dumpster. "And that was probably so we couldn't identify him, like you said earlier. And Kate, it won't always be this bad."

I looked up at her. "Yes, it will be. I loved him, Lanie- still do, actually- him and his silly theories and his adorable jokes and his overwhelming awkwardness. I will _never_ get over Castle." I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and slammed down the door to the Dumpster. "It's clean. Let's find another one."

Then I walked off, controlling the tears.

There was nothing in the trash bins or Dumpsters in a one-mile radius, but Ryan discovered gunshot residue on a tree about ten feet away from where our vic was found, and Esposito found a shallow footprint in an area that didn't have any grass. We made a wax mold of the footprint, marked the tree with residue, and went back to the precinct.

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**Sorry for not posting for a day. I'm at writer's camp and loving it! ~atrfla**


	4. Chapter 4

******I know I didn't post in a while, and I'm sorry! I'm at writer's camp and preoccupied with trying to write a book in a week.**

* * *

Jenny chose that day to visit 'Daddy' with baby Sarah Grace. Ryan left to take his family out for lunch like they did once every few weeks, and Lanie went down to her lab to work with the vic. This left Esposito researching Missing Persons from the New York area and me sitting at my desk, nostalgically drinking a cup of coffee. Normally, Castle brought one, but that wasn't happening. I stared at his empty chair, wishing that he would just show up and tell me that it would all be okay, that _he_ was okay, and he would sit down in that chair and we would talk over the case.

Someone sat down in the chair.

Startled, half thinking that my prayers had been answered, I looked up.

Esposito.

"Get out of that chair!" I snapped, shooting to my feet and practically throwing him out of the chair. "And _stay_ out of it!"

Surprised, Esposito stood in a hurry. He glanced down at the chair, then realized. "Oh- I'm sorry. I just wanted to tell you that I found some people we might want to look at."

I picked up the chair and put it back in its place. _There_. "Keep to your own chair! And show me these people!"

* * *

"Nicholas and Thomas Li," Esposito read. "Twins." Then he scrolled to another pair of older male twins. "Myron and Leland Banks. All of them went missing just about a week ago."

I peered at Myron and Leland Banks. "They look like our vic!"

"And they're identical," Esposito said. "Which makes it impossible to discern which is which."

"Not necessarily," I said. "If Lanie finds something..."

Esposito nodded. "Well, now at least we have pictures to tack on the murder board and some leads to follow. Myron was married and has two children- he's divorced with the ex-wife in California, one child's at MIT, and the other's working as a doctor in Michigan. Leland has a wife and high school child a few blocks away."

"Let's start with Leland's family," I suggested. "See if he had any enemies."

Esposito and I shrugged on our coats and I couldn't help but think that this was one of the first times in a very long while in which I hadn't gone somewhere to ask questions to a suspect with Castle.

This realization almost set off the tears again. But it didn't. 


End file.
